Fatty Friday

Of course I am tired and hungover today. Mostly tired - but I find that that effects my eating just as much as being hungover if not more. So, in lieu of exercise any time soon, I'll be following this plan today:

Today on OPRAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

I have to assume today's Oprah is a rerun cuz the Biggest Loser contestants from a few seasons ago are on and looking good! They're talking about food and I have to say, I am STARVING right now. There is something about watching fitness and diet programs that brings out the inner beast in my stomach. 

Today is a WITHOUT FAIL gym day. I need to stay downtown for a bachelorette party which means lots of booze even if I do well with my food. Because I need to stay here, I have some extra time to go to the gym and I need to kick my ass while hopefully not hurting my groin any further.

For meals:

Breakfast: Protein powder (but I might need to dip into something else since I am ravenous)

Snack: Apple and maybe an orange

Lunch: Couscous, salad, boca vegan patty, broccoli

Dinner: BOOOOOOOOOOOOZE

So yeah this is why I'm fat. Forget the shit you find on this site. Booze is what keeps the pooch on my belly and I'm not really interested in giving that up. So I need to pump up the workouts - that should at least help, right? Right.

I'll be listening to Jillian Michaels' latest podcast while trying to run 20 minutes, bike 20 minutes and do some strength exercise for 20 minutes.

I Passively Aggressively Pulled My Groin

Last night I went to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert which, as per usual, made me fall in love with the group all over again. Karen O has got this energy to her that no one can rival. The crowd though - I could've done without. The teenagers and just-turned-21-year-olds made me want to claw my eyes out with used needles. 

I'm not sure if it's because I'm short, or because people think their shit doesn't stink (or a combo of the two) but these whores kept trying to push past me as they turned their noses up. It took everything I had not to waste my beer on them by pouring it down the back of whatever Project Runway shit they thought they were wearing.

Later in the night, towards the end of the set, a girl led her boyfriend to stand right in front of me where they hadn't been the entire show. This left me without the ability to see even the slightest glimpse of Karen O or her outfit. This made me mad. So, I did what I always do: get passive aggressive. I don't think it should take me saying something for these idiots to move - so I dance pretty much on top of them. The girl looked at me like I was crazy but damn they moved so quickly I felt really good about myself. Plus, I was burning lots of calories and getting my calve raises in. The problem is, I totally pulled my groin, to the point that it hurts to walk today. I'm sure some of you will be all, "Well that's what you get for jumping around on top of those people." Don't make me slap you, those fools deserved it.

So here I am in pain. But I bring you good news, my hard work paid off last week and I lost 2.2 pounds and am down to 142.2. This week, I haven't been working very hard and I sure as hell have been drinking a bunch so if I break even I'll be happy.

In some cool news, I bought the new EAS Active game and started playing it today. It's way better than the Wii Fit for an overall workout even if I don't find it as strenuous as I would like. I need to play around with it a bit but I love that it has a flowing workout instead of needing to pause after each exercise to select something else to do. You can create your own workout or you can select a pre-made workout they put together. Kudos to the peeps who put it together. 

In honor of the show last night - here is the Yeah Yeah Yeah's adorable video for "Zero"

There's Nothing Worse Than Sitting Next To A Skinny Person

ON CAMERA

Wow, today was the wrong day to wear my bright blue button down. I interviewed a Disney star who along with being very pretty is also (of course) skinny. The session was videotaped and will be put up online to many different markets and since she's a pretty big star, I'm sure the video will be seen by many many eyes. What these eyes will also be seeing is my giant gut hanging out of my shirt and folded over into a gigantic roll.

Fuggin GROSS! Tonight is my 3.5 mile run, and thank gawd for that. I hate to say it, but I might have to skip the booze, or at least too much of it, because this image is going to haunt me for a long time.

I'm A Protein Girl

Yesterday I took this online metabolic something or other test to see what foods I should be eating more of and more protein was what it came up with. Of course it is - I'm a vegetarian who craves carbs even when I am up to my gullet in food. For about a week I've been drinking EAS protein powder (from Costco - my first love) mixed with water and I have to say, it's really not so bad. Also, it's been keeping me feeling full - something I never in a million years would have imagined.

My grandpa is in the hospital and I'm visiting over lunch today so who knows what I'll be able to eat in their cafeteria. It's weird, hospital cafeterias always have the shittiest food health-wise. Worse comes to worse, I'll skip eating and just pick up some Subway on my way back to work. No exercising today, I'm giving myself a day of rest with lots of walking. Tomorrow I'm running a 3.5 mile "race" to be followed with lots of drinks and a veggie burger. Good times.

Here's a jam to get you through the day - Bat for Lashes "Daniel"

Chub Rub Is Not My Friend

I'm learning that I can't just do a twenty minute "Shred" session in the morning and expect to lose weight or feel good about what I've done for the day - so I went for a run outside to enjoy the gorgeous weather we're having in Chicago. There are people LINED UP AROUND THE BLOCK outside of my work so that they can get some free pizza thing. By the time they will get the pizza it'll probably be time for me to go home from work. Like, ok, if you're homeless and have nothing better to do, by all means, get the pizza. For the people who are expected to get their asses back to work, why on earth would you want to spend your free time standing in line for that crap?

Anyway, I went for my run and listened to my Jillian Michaels podcast, which was oddly motivating. My heart rate monitor said I burned something like 375 calories - which is different (less) than what The Daily Plate was going to give me for the 30 minute run. This is why I am in love with my heart rate monitor - it slaps me back into reality. "Bitch, you didn't just burn 500 calories!". It was a good run, but not thatgood. To top it all off, I got a bad case of chub rub - the kind that makes you feel as though your skin is going to peel off the moment you step foot into the shower. I had to find my happy place for a while but I'm doing alright now.

I need to warm up my lunch and get my azz back to work. First, here's a jam from a band called Band of Skulls that I think everyone will enjoy:

And...it begins AGAIN

Fuck, how many times have I started a blog to keep me on track with the weight loss goals? Too many to count. Why will this one be different? The one that "sticks"? No clue...maybe I'm just too tired of posting to group blogs where I don't keep myself accountable. So, here we are again.

Today I weighed in at 144.4. Last week I weighed in at 144.2, and I was bloated from my time of the month (forever more known as "Little Susan" due to my Aunt's grouchy friend named Susan). I worked out almost every day last week and didn't really go over my calories. So, I'm not a happy camper. I'm having a hard time wanting to actually keep up with my exercise and paying attention to my diet, which is why I'm taking that energy and putting it into this blog so I don't get pissy and say "fuck it" and revert to flaming hot cheeto eating (damn those are good).

Exercise Check In:

This morning I did the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. This afternoon I might try to go for a run.

Eating Check In:

Protein powder and coffee for breakfast (I know, sounds disgusting but I'm not all that hungry in the morning).
Fake Chicken Cutlet thingy from Costco and two cups of frozen Asian vegetables for lunch.

I'm gonna try to do the 4 hour interval eating Jillian Michaels suggested in her podcast.

Speaking of her blog, I just saw this picture on there:


What kind of tranny bullshit is that and why do women let themselves get to that point? Is that woman wearing a "Beast" sports bra? No kidding!